


The Sadness Will Last Forever

by dyingpoet



Category: Rebel Without a Cause (1955)
Genre: Character Study, Light Angst, M/M, a nice slowburn, fluff for my boys, this might turn into a ship lets see how it goes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-02-23 14:38:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13192197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyingpoet/pseuds/dyingpoet
Summary: Plato didn't really realize there was a hole in his heart until someone came along who could fill it





	1. Chapter 1

Plato had never really felt lonely, not if you asked him anyway. Sure, he was _alone_ , but everybody was if you thought about it hard enough, they just had people to be alone with. He himself didn't need anyone to be alone with; the only people with which he had been truly alone were his parents, and he didn't need them either. People didn't really make sense to him was all. He spent a good deal of his time watching people breathe and talk and live, and he just didn't understand how they could do it. He could barely get a sentence out before whoever he was talking to gave him a confused look and made themselves scarce. Maybe he just wasn't like everyone else, he always thought that he felt things different than other kids, felt things stronger and deeper than them. This feeling coupled with teenage boredom, led to him doing some pretty morbid things, some might even say unattractive things. Like shooting those puppies, he was looking at them and he saw something in them that put him off, something about their obliviousness or maybe just their innocence, but he was hit with a wave of anger and confusion that dragged him to the drawer where he kept his mother's gun and made him kill them. He didn't hate them, he probably didn't even have to kill them, he just wanted to understand something about them that he couldn't, so he reacted, maybe not in the way that most would, but he reacted.

He blamed them really, his emotions, they were too strong and too unpredictable and they were the reason that he was alone all the time. They made the kids at school look at him funny, and they made his parents fight, which led to them leaving him all by himself, filled with a fear he was totally unequipped to deal with. And so he was alone, and what does one do when alone? Well they watch, and they learn and they live the best they can with themselves. One great truth he'd learned while being alone was that everyone was a liar in their own way, they lied to their friends about their feelings, lied to their parents about where they were going, lied to their kids about what love really was. All this lying made people hate each other and themselves, and Plato didn't need that; he was comfortable watching from the outside and keeping people with their dishonesty at a distance.

So, when school rolled around the day after he killed those puppies and he saw that drunk kid from the police station with his soft voice and nervousness that seemed way too big for his body, he got hit with the usual wave of thought and emotion. He had had a rather calm day thus far so he didn't get too out of control, just found himself filled with curiosity and interest, somewhat out of character for him to be completely honest. But come on, of course he was interested, the kid was at the police station just like him for Christ's sake, but he knew that if he talked to him he would just end up screwing it up, so he did his best to put him in the back of his mind, he really did. And he managed to for a good portion of the day too; he did arithmetic, read Shakespeare, ate his lunch and got on the bus to go to the planetarium with everyone else just fine. The bus ride there wasn't bad either, he managed to get a seat by himself and looked at the mountains in a relative sense of peace while everyone around him talked with one another, lying as they were wont to do. He got off the bus with everyone else and went in and sat down to start the presentation.

This was were things got slightly difficult. See, Plato didn't feel lonely, he really didn't, but sitting in the planetarium, looking up at the seemingly infinite blackness of the cold unflinching universe that the school had so lovingly arranged for their viewing purposes, he couldn't really say he felt fantastically secure either. I mean who could? He wasn't weird for feeling uncomfortable right now was he? Uncomfortable wasn't even the right word for what he was feeling, it was more like some weird sort of emptiness, not loneliness, he wasn't lonely, but just sort of small. Conveniently, at right about this time, while the speaker talked about stars and galaxies and he was grasping for a word to describe what he was feeling, in came Jim Stark. He was late so he got quite a few glances on the way to his seat, a seat rather close to Plato, who in a moment of weakness was considering starting a conversation with the kid, a desire rationalized with the idea that he only wanted to talk to get his mind off the inevitable destruction of the Earth that this damn speaker  _would not stop talking about._  He really just wanted any distraction from the presentation, any distraction from the growing feeling of panic inside of him that had already started making his heart race and his hands shake just the slightest bit.

So when Jim said, "Boy..." under his breath, he jumped on the opportunity to focus on something other than the end of the world.

"What?" he said, feeling his voice shake slightly as he tried to get his mind to focus on the kid in front of him instead of the presentation.

Jim looked back, seemingly surprised at Plato's question, and connected eyes with him for a quick second. Plato's racing mind latched onto the eternity of that second, trying to find emotion in Jim's gaze that might be able to overpower his own. He saw recognition in his eyes, which made sense, they had met after all, and a hint of something else that startled him a bit, a soft gentleness. He never really saw that in people's eyes when they looked at him. The kids at school looked at him in disgust and snickered to their friends. His parents had looked at him in frustration and annoyance, too busy with their personal lives to grant him half of a second's worth of kindness. And everyone else just looked at him with pity, unable to understand that he was confused and scared and alone just like them, he just got overwhelmed more easily than them was all.

But Jim, Jim looked at him with genuine curiosity and tenderness, like he was looking at a frightened rabbit instead of the local outcast.

"Just thinkin' that once you've been up there you know you've been someplace."

He sat back after Jim said that, his mind choosing to hone in on this statement as opposed to the growing sense of anxiety he felt inside. And boy did he think about what Jim said, no one ever said stuff like that to him, ever. Maybe people thought that he wouldn't care or understand, but he did, he sure did. It was such a small sentence but it was sincere in a way that sentences usually weren't, and it spoke volumes to him, made him feel like Jim might think the same way that he did, hell, maybe he even  _felt_ the same way he did. 

Plato was thinking so much about all of this that he almost jumped out of his skin when Jim let out a loud "Moo" as the presenter pointed out the constellation Taurus. He let out a shaky laugh, his nerves were all over the place from the sudden sound and he normally would have stayed quiet but dammit the kid was funny. To be completely honest he normally wouldn't have thought the sound funny, but coming from Jim it was different, he almost related to the sense of humor, as it seemed Jim was just trying to reach out to everybody and get some sort of reaction, the joke seeming like a nervous reflex that he himself might have.

As the presentation progressed, and somehow got even more brutally honest regarding their feeble existence, he started really thinking about the possibility of Jim as a friend, someone who he could talk to. In the back of his mind he knew that he was really letting himself spiral into a cycle of assumptions about the kid, he had barely said anything to him, and his only other interaction with Jim was when he offered his jacket to him in the police station the night before; but he let himself consider the possibility even if it was based off of nothing, everything was based off of nothing right?

And suddenly the presenter got very loud and the whole room flashed with the light of the projected implosion of the universe and Plato was scared, he was sitting by himself in the back row and the world was ending in front of him and he was _alone._ Acting totally on impulse he leaned forward to try and talk to Jim, to the only person who looked at him with interest, but he found that his words caught in the back of his throat. What could he say? That the world was over and he never lived? No, he couldn't admit something so frank and personal to Jim just yet, even though he knew deep down that he wouldn't hold it against him. 

With nothing to say he looked up at the bright lights and loud sounds of cosmic death displayed on the ceiling and he curled up under his seat his his head in his hands and stayed there, trying to block it all out because it was too much and too fast and he couldn't handle it. His breathing began to quicken and he felt that ever present nameless emotion inside of him struggle and claw at his throat as he heard the world end.

And then it was over.

The sounds dimmed down and he heard the presented finish out the hell he had wreaked upon those poor kids by saying what Plato knew to be true, but refused to admit, that man was forever and always to be alone. To contrast the weight of the statement, the presentation ended without a moment for the students to contemplate what they had just heard; just like that the planetarium lights went back to normal and the speakers shut off, but Plato remained crouched under his seat, waiting just to be sure that he could stand up and carry on.

He felt a tap on his head just then, heard the voice of Jim saying, "Hey, hey," as he aroused the anxiously pensive boy beneath the seats. He glanced up to an open and thoughtful face, and came to a kneel as Jim continued, "It's all over, the world ended." The deadened tone with which the line was delivered reflected Plato's emotions at the moment, in turn strengthening the idea of friendship between the boys that he had constructed in his mind.

"What does he know about man alone?" He replied, scoffing, attempting to push away the reality that the presenter had set before him with a surprising lack of grace. As he said this though, Plato happened to connect once more with Jim's gaze, finding himself once again entranced by the boldfaced honesty which he so rarely saw present in anyone's eyes. He stood as he felt himself utterly vulnerable to Jim in a way that he didn't others, feeling that maybe he could understand him and his complexities, and have his understood by him; maybe, just maybe, he could help Plato figure out the emotions that he couldn't name, and create a name for them himself.

As often happened with Plato, he felt so much and so fast that when Jim gave him a half smile and nudged him as he left, he found himself startled, and rapidly cut off his train of thought as he followed curiously after Jim. 

He found himself drawn to the drunken riddle of Jim, and made the decision right then and there that this time he would really try to make a friend, no matter how much he wanted to pull away. Maybe he could even create a makeshift family with Jim, who knows?

 

 

 


	2. A Violent Requiem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bond between Plato and Jim grow as danger ignites the small California town

As Plato followed the rest of the students out of the planetarium toward the door he still found himself consumed by a nervous energy, caused in part by the intensity of the presentation, and also by the refreshing feeling of connection that he felt had ignited with Jim. It had been minutes since he had felt this but already his mind was spiraling into the possibilities of having a true friend, and man were they  _endless_. He could picture him and talking with bare honestly about what they considered true, and cut out all the useless lying and small talk which he couldn't stand or perform correctly for that matter. He saw him and Jim going to the mansion that only he and his parents knew about. He could run away with Jim just like he did when he was younger, but this time nobody would drag him back to his suffocating empty home, he could just be with Jim in the privacy of his own peace. His heart rate picked up again, not from anxiety this time, but from excitement that flooded his body in warmth, a warmth that he so very rarely allowed himself to feel, the warmth of hope. 

So excited he found himself by these imaginative prospects that when he saw Buzz and the other kids gather near where the spot where he had been thinking, he heard one of them mention Jim's name and quietly walked over to listen in. Normally we would have avoided the group at all costs, they hadn't exactly made his life in school easy, either laughing about him behind his back or blatantly antagonizing him. That group was actually one of the main reasons why he kept to himself and instilled within himself the idea that he didn't need people, they had only hurt him up until this point. In a lot of people, being made fun of and teased for as long as he had might have caused them to lash out and retaliate, but never him. Plato knew that it would only make his life worse, and push his vicarious and nameless emotions further into his psyche.

Quietly he listened in, a growing mixture of fear and anger growing as he heard Buzz and the rest talk about hurting Jim, his Jim, the one person who had showed him a brief and pure moment of sincerity and kindness. The first thought to come into his mind was to warn Jim, rather convenient was this thought actually, when just as Buzz's gang left to presumably wait for Jim outside, out strode the man himself.

Plato once again found himself entranced by the strange mixture of nervousness and confidence that exuded from the boy as he walked out. He didn't seem to notice Plato, but he did notice Buzz, and rather impressively showed no sign of concern as he just angled his path more toward Plato, catching his eye in the process. Jim walked past him and all of the sudden Plato hated them, he hated that they had made his life hell and he hated that they were going to try and hurt the only person he might just have the chance to make friends with. So in a burst of anger he ran up to the entrance and stood face to face with Buzz, creating a sort of barrier between him and the now distant Jim.

The surprise showed on Buzz's face only briefly, quickly replaced with a clearly practiced hardened glare. And once again, Plato found himself in a situation where he made have bitten off more than he could chew, because boy was this kid  _big_ , he had to be at least six foot and buff. Now Plato himself was rather scrawny and short, something that become grossly apparent as all of the anger left his system to be replaced with an Earth shattering, albeit rather irrational, fear that Buzz would kill him.

"What are you lookin' at?" Buzz snarled, now inches from his own panic ridden face. 

The rest of his gang had gathered behind him and Plato struggled to remind himself that Jim,  _Jim_ , was who he should be focusing on right now, and not the biggest and most frighteningly reckless kid in school. Internally, he found himself consumed by the usual panic that dominated his life, but also with a sudden urge to remain loyal to his friend, that was what you were supposed to do with your friends right? Protect them? Even if it meant that you would probably feel like your nerve endings were on fire for the next few minutes as you desperately struggled to bring your emotions down, back to where everyone else's usually were.

In order to maintain some level of self respect by standing up for his friend, he muttered out a quick, "Nothing," before taking a step back, holding eye contact with the boy for just a second more before walking after Jim.

He caught up with him outside, around the back of the building itself, his vicious anxiety that had just formed transforming into a stronger fear for the safety of his newfound friend, who had his head in his hands, looking rather distressed.

"I told ya not to fool with those guys," he said, "Now they're laying for ya,". He thought that the statement sounded way better in his head, less all knowing, but he rolled with it nonetheless, letting his concern guide his actions for just a moment. He really wanted to keep Jim out of trouble, and consequently in his life, so he decided that now was as good a time as any to introduce the idea of the mansion, it was his favorite place after all.

"If ya don't want trouble I have a place we can go," he said excitedly, "It's a big mansion." Boy, did he hope that Jim would want to go with him, he could keep him safe and away from Buzz, and get to see if their friendship could advance as he dearly hoped it would.

Jim gave him a look for a moment, his gaze slightly guarded, probably out of fear that he would have to face Buzz and his gang, but after a moment he threw his hands up in a sort of noncommittal gesture that Plato jumped on, he wasn't used to even getting this far with new people, especially someone who seemed as almost ethereal as Jim. He got a burst of confidence from the look Jim was giving him, so he looked out into the mountains and saw it, the old crumbling structure that had felt like more of a home to him than his own.

He pointed to it longingly and said, "There it is," with a wistful note in his breathy and excited voice, "We could sneak around and they wouldn't even know." 

In his mind he had already started concocting the fantasy of getting in a car with Jim and driving with him to a place that could be a small piece of them, an extension of their friendship away from all the trouble and nervousness that he felt Jim understood just as well as he did.

"Who lives there," Jim questioned softly, the note of interest in his voice not going unnoticed by Plato.

"Oh nobody lives there," he replied happily, his anxiety having gone down when getting to talk to Jim, who he realized was quickly becoming a sort of stabilizer for him and his emotions. "C'mon lets go."

He began to walk toward the exit of the building when he was stopped by the site of two of Buzz's friends, who seemed rather keen on finding them. He took an instinctive step back as Jim took a protective one forward. 

"There he is," one of them mumbled, slightly out of breath as they took off back the way they came, going to find Buzz. Plato knew he was safe, they hadn't given him a second glance once they saw Jim, usually he would have felt a numbing hurt by the exclusion, but with Jim he felt a incessant need to protect him, even though he knew that his slight stature rendered him a small threat. 

He glanced over his shoulder to Jim, who somehow managed to keep a calm air about him when Buzz and all the other kids came walking toward them. He sat up calmly on the ledge between them and the others and maintained a steady gaze with Buzz, not challenging, just steady. As Plato looked at Jim, he felt safe and protected for the first time around these kids, he knew that whatever happened he had Jim standing there, trying to keep the peace, but at the same time not backing down.

Contrasting to the boy that Plato swore held a galaxy inside of him, he himself could feel his chest constrict and his palms grow sweat as the group who had antagonized him for as long as he could remember gathered around Jim's car. He knew that this time if a fight broke out, it usually did, he couldn't just walk away. He recognized in that moment a small sliver of his unfathomable emotion inside of him; he truly didn't care about himself, he just wanted to keep himself away from the world that deemed him strange and dangerous. He didn't feel connected to anyone really, but from what he felt about Jim during these last few hours he knew that he couldn't say much about himself, but he was loyal, and that realization caused courage to mix with his intense anxiety.

Focusing on the present, Plato recognized that Buzz and his gang hadn't attempted to get physical with either of them just yet, which was definitely something to be happy about, but he knew that in a matter of time the damn separating them would break, and he feared for Jim's safety more than he ever worried for his own.

As he surveyed the scene, he knew that Jim had eyes for Judy, an unfortunate pick in Plato's own opinion. She seemed superficial and not nearly good enough for his Jim. Sadly though, Buzz noticed that Jim was looking at his girl, and jealousy flared up in his eyes as he took out his switchblade and lowered it to Jim's car tire, almost daring Jim to retaliate in a way that would allow him to prove that Judy was in fact his. 

Jim yielded no such response, keeping that steady fixed stare in Buzz as he dug his blade into his tire and let the air out, simply letting out a sigh and lowering himself down from the safety of the ledge, much to Plato's dismay. He knew that these guys wouldn't beat him up too badly, but they could really do some damage considering how many of them there were. He would jump to Jim's defense in an instant, but knew from harsh experience that he wasn't worth much in a fight.

With this knowledge, he followed Jim, doing his best to not look shaky as he felt fear flood his veins, and went up to meet Buzz. He thought that Jim looked at awful lot like a movie star in that instant, staring down the leather-clad bully to defend his honor and impress a girl; maybe even to impress Plato, but he knew that was silly, as much as he thought of Jim he knew there was no way that the boy could have developed such strong feelings for Plato as he had toward him, like he said, he just felt things stronger and more recklessly than a lot of people. Even if Jim was similar to him, he really wanted to keep his raging imagination from leading him down a path of disappointment. He would settle for whatever kind of friendship Jim could offer.

"You know something?" Jim said, tearing Plato from his thoughts once more.

"What?" Buzz replied, his cocky stance so different from Jim's own languid stride

"You read too many comic books," Jim shot back, voice laced with an expected annoyance and unexpected lack of aggression.

At this Buzz barked out a laugh, the mood lightening just a bit, allowing room for everyone to breathe. Breathing, coincidentally, was something that was giving Plato a lot of trouble at the moment, he wished that he could share the sense of calm that Jim had but he just couldn't. He felt his body slowing filling with adrenaline spiked worry as Jim walked toward his car, and he so desperately wished in that moment that he could have the courage to take this fight from Jim. He would lose, obviously, but it would save Jim the trouble he seemed to want to avoid so badly, and he really would do anything for Jim in that moment.

Buzz followed them a bit, saying to the kids around him, "Ah well he's real abstract, he's different."

"That's right, that's right, I'm cute too," Jim shot back, almost managing to draw out a smile from the anxiety ridden Plato as he took off his jacket and went over to his slashed tire.

All the other kids laughed at that, mooing mockingly at Jim as he walked through them and came to a stop at Judy's side. Plato felt instantly a nagging jealousy toward Judy, who seemed to be the center of Jim's focus at the time, the center of his own small universe that Plato found himself needing to explore. He was sort of afraid in that moment of what he might find at the center, what Jim might have buried down at his core, but he needed to know like he needed to breathe. He was just starting to think that this might be what love was, and what a thing to find in such a violent place, what a thing to find at all.

 


	3. Team Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plato admires the essence of peace that Jim carries with him, and finds his own feelings of loneliness growing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're officially abandoning canon friends! Get ready because its gonna be angsty as fuck

At right about this time, just as Plato was starting to sense a fight brewing, he and the rest of the kids heard a call from the planetarium above.

"Hey you kids, time to get outta here!"

The call came from the earlier presenter, flanked by a policeman who was probably trying to get them to leave so their wouldn't be any trouble.

Plato had never felt more grateful in his life than when Buzz decided that Jim was currently more trouble than he was worth, settling for shouldering roughly past him as he and the rest of the gang, including Judy, who was glancing back an awful lot, left.

"Wow that was close," Plato gasped out with a grin, not even realizing until right now that he had been holding his breath. Actually, he had been so distracted that he hadn't noticed that his nerves had been going haywire for the last few minutes; his hands were shaking and he could feel himself getting hot as his heart attempted to beat out of his chest.

Jim looked over at him, a flicker of surprise in his eyes, almost like he didn't expect Plato to still be here, before grinning wide and barking out a laugh.

"Yeah kid it sure was," Jim said, ruffling his hair as he walked off toward the parking lot, Plato following close behind

Plato was in awe really. Jim had faced the kids that basically bullied him his whole life and calmly got out without a scratch. A large part of that could be contributed to luck, for Plato was sure that if the policeman hadn't spotted them, they would have been in a mess of trouble. 

But that possibility didn't matter right now because Jim was slowing down his walk so that Plato could keep up and bumped his shoulder with Plato's a few times, sending a bolt of electricity through his whole body every time.

It really was starting to seem like Jim was his lucky star, and as he walked in companionable silence with Jim into the parking lot, he ached with an emotion that he had refused to let himself feel for so long, loneliness. He knew then that that really was the feeling that had clawed at his insides for so long, he just didn't want to admit it. Lonelines was always viewed as a weakness by his parents, who thrived off their independence, leaving their son to fend for himself in the process. So in response, Plato kept trying to convince himself that he didn't need anybody, and in a sense he was right, he didn't need  _anybody_. He needed Jim.

As this realization dawned on Plato, he hadn't noticed that as he headed for the buses, Jim was walking now toward his car.

Jim did however, and turned back for a moment, grabbing his shoulder, turning Plato so that he was facing him.

Plato, lost in thought, nearly jumped out of his skin when Jim turned him around, still on edge from the stress of the almost-fight. So, he yelped a bit and scrambled back, panic clouding his senses for a good few seconds before he realized that it was Jim. Of course it was Jim, he didn't know why he had been so surprised, except that his hands were still shaking a bit, a lot more now that Jim had scared him half to death

"Woah Plato, I didn't mean to scare ya there," Jim said softly, clearly trying to make the now obviously frightened boy more comfortable.

"I-Its okay," Plato choked out, feeling his heart rate pick up not only from fear but from the way Jim's eyes looked in the light right now. 

Damn, and there was that ache in his chest again, a reminder that the boy standing in front of him was probably the most important person in his life right now. The boy that was still looking very concerned and who had definitely noticed that his hands were shaking, which made him even more anxious. People always got scared off when they  noticed that sort of thing.

"Well, I was gonna say that you can drive back with me," Jim offered lightly, "I would hate to put ya back on a bus with those goons."

Plato let out a nervous laugh after that, trying to hide that his heart just skipped a beat after Jim asked that because someone was finally wanting to spend time with him, even if it was just a car ride home. 

"Yeah, that would be great actually," Plato said, trying and failing to keep a smile off of his face.

"Great, c'mon."

And Jim led him over to his car, which now had a flat tire that they would have to change before they went anywhere.

Jim raked his hand through his hair and cleared his throat, drawing Plato's eyes to his own.

"I'll get this changed real fast, you can wait in the car if you want."

Plato opened his mouth to protest but once again caught Jim looking at his shaking hands and rather pale face, and decided against it because, just _wow_. Someone was really, genuinely concerned about his well-being, and that someone was looking at him in a way that brought back some of the color to his face and made his heart race in a good way.

So, Plato nodded, walking over to the passenger side and getting in, watching Jim get out his spare from the trunk and get on with replacing it.

He decided to take this time and calm himself down, because as much as he enjoyed Jim being concerned about him, he didn't want to seem utterly helpless. So, he started taking deep breaths in and out, counting to five on each inhale, and counting back down to one on each exhale. His mother had taught him that when he was little and he used to get panicky so much at school that the teacher finally had to call home and tell them.

She had stopped trying to help somewhere around middle school, evidently giving up on the idea that her son would be able to function, and leaving him in the care of various maids and nannies.

He was actually managing to bring his heart rate back to normal, and his hands weren't shaking nearly as much as they were a minute ago, though the ache in his chest remained. He knew that it was never going to go away if he didn't try and solidify his friendship with Jim. He needed to spend more time with him, try and let some of his loneliness leave his body and let Jim fill the space it left.

He had just made the decision to invite Jim over to his house later that night when the boy himself got back in the car.

"That wasn't too bad," Jim said turning the key in the ignition while he spoke, "At least the bastards only slashed one, else we'd be screwed."

Plato nodded, "Yeah those guys are real tough, they hassle me a lot, they can be nasty when they wanna be."

Jim looked over at him as he said that, his eyes once again filled with a soft worry.

"They never beat ya up or anything like that did they?" He asked, gripping the steering wheel tighter as the pulled out the the parking lot and got on the main road.

Plato shrugged, not really wanting to talk about his bullying problem with the boy he felt himself progressively more drawn to.

"A few times yeah," Plato said, quickly continuing when Jim shot him another look, "But it wasn't that bad, I always got out okay."

Jim didn't really look like he quite believed him, rather perceptive as it was a flat out lie. Plato had walked out of those beatings pretty bad off, he got his nose broken once and  had his fair share of black eyes and split lips. 

He really didn't want Jim to worry about him so much, sure he was small but he could take care of himself for the most part, and he didn't want to find himself dependent on Jim for everything just yet. He had to remind himself that as much as he was liking the guy, he really didn't know him all that well. 

"Yeah well hopefully you won't have to worry about that anymore kid," Jim said rather evenly, though a hint of anger could be detected.

When Plato gave him a confused look he continued, "You had my back back there, I got yours own when you need it."

Plato's shock must have shown on his face because Jim started laughing and reached to sling an arm over his shoulder as he drove.

"Don't look so surprised, big tough kid like you, you probably don't need it anyway."

Jim started laughing again as Plato punched his arm at the playful insult, puffing out his chest the slightest bit.

"I am tough!" he growled lightly, "I could take you if I wanted to, I wouldn't want to make you feel bad though," he added with a hint of sarcasm, looking with mock defiance into Jim's eyes as his hair was ruffled again.

"Course you could Plato, don't know what I was thinkin'" he quipped, looking at the road and realizing he had no idea where he was going

"Where do you live anyway?" 

"'Bout two blocks from here, take the next left all the way down to the end of the block and you'll see it," Plato directed, his hands starting to shake a bit as he began mustering up the courage to ask Jim to come over.

"Hey, uh, maybe later tonight you can come over?" he finally asked, not making eye contact for fear of rejection, "Nobody's gonna be home so it could be nice."

He looked up for just a second, his palms sweating and hands shaking in his lap and he suddenly thought that asking Jim was a stupid idea, the guy barely knew him and-

"Sure kid," Jim said, cutting off his train of thought, "Sounds better than bein' at my house."

Jim caught Plato's eye just then and gave him a soft smile, which Plato normally would have suspected pitying, but Jim's eyes gave away his intent straight away. He was looking at him the same way he had in the planetarium earlier that afternoon, with a curious gentleness that suited him perfectly.

Jim laughed, pulling up to Plato's house as he grinned widely, the kid was real damn cute sometimes, and put the car into park.

"Well here we are," Jim started, "I guess I'll see you around eight?"

"Perfect!" Plato eagerly replied, instantly wishing that he didn't sound so excited, but he couldn't really help himself because it was Jim, and Jim was coming over. And he was so excited to learn more about him and just be close with him because as much as he ached inside, he knew that if anyone could soothe that ache it was Jim.

Then, Plato got out and waved to Jim, who then drove off, and bolted into his house. 

His mother was gone and the maid had the day off so he had the house to himself for the next five hours or so until Jim showed up.

He couldn't wait.


	4. Bad for Your Health

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim goes over to Plato's for the night.

It was almost eight and Plato really thought he might pass out.

He had planned on spending the few hours before Jim came back trying to get the house ready. That ended up taking him a solid ten minutes since it was usually just him and Hattie, whose job it was to clean up, so the only thing he had to do was get himself more and more anxious until Jim got there, which was going fantastically.

It was like inviting a movie star into his house, Jim meant so much to him that if he screwed this up he would never be able to forgive himself.

He was so worked up after an hour of sitting around that he tried to take a nap for an hour or so to relieve the stress, that usually worked pretty well if he could manage it, and he was exhausted anyway. So he curled up in his bed and pulled the covers around his slightly shaking body, doing his breathing exercise again to try and calm down enough to go to sleep.

 

1...2...3...4...5

5...4...3...2...1

It only took him about two repetitions of that before he was out cold. And unfortunately, he was out cold for a hell of a lot longer than he expected to be, until about seven fifty five to be exact, which was why he was definitely going to pass out right now. 

He knew that the house hadn't gotten destroyed while he slept but he still needed time, he didn't even know what he needed time for, he just knew that he needed it because soon he Jim was going to be here soon and he had a gnawing feeling that he had forgotten something. And that feeling was mixing with the loneliness that clogged up his throat and he felt so  _stupid_ for getting all worked up like this right now.

So caught up in his head was he, that when a knock sounded at the door he almost missed it, putting it off as the house creaking. Quickly though he realized his mistake, dashing to the front door and opening it up. His breath really caught in his throat when he saw Jim standing there, he knew that he was coming, but there the ever-present voice in his head that told him that he wouldn't, that nobody ever would.

"Hey kid," Jim grinned through a cigarette, stepping in as Plato took a step back, "Nice place."

"Thanks, don't really spend much time in it though, 'cept my room," Plat said lightly, watching as Jim looked around, suddenly very aware of how empty the place must look with just him standing in the middle.

"Ha, funny, me too," Jim smiled fondly, looking at Plato and tilting his head just a bit, "Whaddya wanna do?"

Plato starting wringing his hands, "We can go upstairs."

Plato was actually calming down as he led Jim into his room, ducking out for a moment to grab a bottle of liquor from his mother's room before walking back in. He giggled a little bit as he saw Jim flopped down on his bed, head buried in the pillow that Plato had been laying on minutes ago.

"You wanna drink?" Plato asked, sitting in the bed next to Jim while he flipped over onto his back.

"Sure, what is it?" He asked, taking the bottle and folding his arm under his head to sit up more.

"Not sure," Plato said, craning his neck to try and see the label, "Scotch I think."

Jim nodded approvingly, unknowingly filling Plato with warmth with the slight gesture. He took a sip and smiled, passing the bottle to Plato, "It's damn good whatever it is."

Plato took a sip and tried it hold in a cough, god that stuff was  _bitter_. He started blushing when Jim laughed and took the bottle back.

"Lightweight huh?" He shoved a little at Plato's head as he got even more flustered.

"No I'm not," Plato replied, grabbing the bottle again and forcing himself to take a longer drink, which almost set his throat on fire but it was worth it because Jim had moved closer to him while he drank.

"Slow down there, you're gonna get sick," Jim said, taking the bottle back while Plato whined.

"Don't worry about me," Plato said, finding that as much as the drink tasted awful it was calming his nerves a bit. 

"Too late kid," Jim quipped, lighting a cigarette and leaning back on the headboard. Plato didn't think anything could ever look as great as Jim did in that moment, calmly smoking while he rested his legs on Plato's lap. 

When Plato took another sip of the scotch, grimacing a bit, Jim kicked him lightly and asked, "So where is everyone anyways? Your parents?"

Plato's head was starting to feel a lot lighter and he wasn't as nervous to answer the question as he might have been sober, and with anyone but Jim. "My mom sorta lives here but she's always gone, and my dad's good as dead, he left when I was little." Despite the light buzz he had, talking about his parents made his heart race just a bit, so he took another drink while Jim looked at him. He was sort of surprised at how concerned Jim looked, his eyes reminding him of that moment at the planetarium only a few short hours ago, soft and curious.

"Well they don't know what they're missing," Jim said, reaching over to take the bottle from Plato before he got too drunk, the kid already looked like he was well on his way.

"Maybe," Plato giggled, moving to sit next to Jim, the alcohol giving him a false sense of bravery as he leaned against his side, relieved when Jim slung an arm around his shoulder, undisturbed. Jim passed him the cigarette, choosing to take another drink himself, and Plato took a drag, starting to cough and quickly handing it back.

"Aw you're so cute you can't even smoke," Jim chuckled, starting to feel the effects of the alcohol himself.

"I'm not cute," Plato said indignantly, although he was glowing inside and trying desperately to hide it, failing a bit, grinning while he spoke. He started laughing, giddy all of the sudden, falling into Jim even more as he tried to grab the liquor from his hand, wanting to feel even more of this moment.

Jim smiled as Plato got the bottle and took another long drink, managing to swallow it before he broke out laughing again, putting the bottle down on the side table and yelped a bit as Jim shoved him so that his head fell in his lap. "Yeah you are, like a puppy, a drunk puppy."

Plato started laughing again at that image, looking up at Jim who stubbed out his cigarette on the metal frame of the bed and looked down at Plato, smiling as he finished his laughing fit.

"'M not that drunk," Plato said softly, looking up to meet Jim's eyes, feeling better than he had in a long time.

"Yeah okay," Jim smirked rolling his eyes, he was getting sorta drunk too, not keeping track of your swallows could do that, but he felt good, really good actually. "Hey, I never asked what you were in for the other night," he continued, poking at Plato's shoulder.

"Oh at the station?"

"Yeah."

Plato didn't really want to talk about shooting those puppies with Jim, didn't want to ruin the atmosphere they had created, "Something stupid, I just ended up getting sent to a shrink."

Jim knew there was probably something more there but decided to hold off for Plato's sake. 

"How was that? Never been to one myself."

Plato sighed a bit, moving a bit to get himself comfortable, "Okay I guess, they didn't really tell me much, just asked me questions about when I was a kid."

"Anything interesting?"

Plato smiled a bit to himself at that, "Yeah, I used to run away a lot when I was a kid, they always found me, but I remember that they would start fighting and I just couldn't take it anymore. So, I would run away, we talked about that a lot"

Jim took another swig of scotch, passing it over to Plato before continuing, "Where'd you go?"

"That old mansion I was telling you about," Plato said, leaning into Jim's hand from where he had rested it on his head, "It was so empty and quiet, I loved it there."

"We should go sometime," Jim yawned, it was only around nine but he always got sleepy after a good number of drinks.

"Yeah maybe," Plato said softly.

Plato's head was feeling really soft right them, his whole body was loose and he closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the colors that exploded behind them. They reminded him of all the galaxies and stars that he saw at the planetarium, bright and glaring in a field of darkness.

* * *

 

He hadn't realized he'd dozed off until Jim shifted, moving Plato's head onto the bed as he laid on his stomach beside him.

"Did I fall asleep," Plato murmured, rubbing his eyes blearily. He still felt drunk, less so but enough that when Jim looked over at him and smiled he moved closer to him just a bit. Just enough to feel Jim's breath on his face when he replied.

"Just for a little bit, I knew that scotch would knock you out," Jim said, laughing a little and messing Plato's hair, which was pretty wild at the moment from his impromptu nap.

"Yeah, yeah. What about you? Tired yet?" Plato asked, noticing Jim bite back a yawn.

"A little, long day, we almost got our asses kicked," he smirked as he said that, clearly taking enjoyment in Plato's frown as he thought back to Buzz and his gang.

"Hopefully they'll leave us alone from now on," Plato said, starting a bit when Jim cuffed his head lightly.

"Hey, I told ya already that I wouldn't let em bother you anymore, a promise is a promise."

Plato started smiling again at that, he probably smiled more today than he had everyday in the last year combined, it felt nice. He finally had a friend who wasn't frightened off by him, a friend that he could trust, and just be happy with. Unbelievably, amazingly, wonderfully happy; happy enough even, that the loneliness which had been eating at him for as long as he could remember felt subdued, like Jim had taken up residence where it lived inside him and was slowly chasing it away. 

Jim, Plato also realized, was the only person who he knew for sure wouldn't leave him. Wouldn't get mad or frustrated or sick of him like everyone else had. He felt like they were kindred spirits in a way, Plato had been left by one person and another, and Jim had moved from one town to another until they both ended up here, together in this empty house full of alcohol and warmth.

He really didn't even notice when Jim's face softened a bit and he moved in even closer, he was so lost in thought.

Barely noticed when Jim slowly coiled on arm around his neck.

He did notice however, when their lips connected.

It was like a firecracker had been let off inside of him, he could feel everyone of his senses on fire and he opened his eyes to try and remember exactly how everything looked at this very moment.

"Is this okay?" Jim asked, pulling away slightly.

Plato could barely speak, nodding his head quickly, trying to burn every detail of Jim into his mind, how his eyes closed as he leaned in again, how his eyelashes grazed his skin ever so slightly, how soft his lips were on his own.

He hadn't kissed anyone before and had no idea if he was doing it right, but he let Jim guide him, let his hands run through Jim's hair while Jim gripped his neck.

It was over faster than he would have liked, Jim pulling away and saying, "Maybe we should go to bed and continue this when we sober up."

It was a smart idea actually, Plato's heart was practically beating out of his chest and the scotch was starting to make him tired again.

"You promise?"

"Sure Plato, I promise," Jim said quietly, smiling as he ran his fingers through Plato's hair soothingly. He didn't want to go too far and have the kid regret anything in the morning, he felt like he needed to take it slow, or else Plato might start to crack like glass in his hands.

Plato let out one more sleepy groan, presumably in response, before slowly drifting off into sleep, sure that no dream he had could ever top what had just happened.

Jim drifted off too after a while, drawing Plato into his chest and resting his head on top his, a peaceful scene which lasted into the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got the ship together!!! No one will read this but I'm so happy!!


	5. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hangovers and important conversation

The first thing Plato felt when he woke up was his head, there had to be something pounding at it from the inside because it really fucking hurt. His stomach hurt a lot too, and he was drenched in sweat, hungover he guessed, he'd never been but he figured this was what it was like

He struggled to remember the events of last night, the alcohol made everything hazy but he remembered talking with Jim, he remembered laughing and he remembered other things but they couldn't be true because Jim wasn't like him. Jim liked Judy and he liked girls and he didn't like Plato, not like that at least. Nobody liked him like that, nobody could, that's what his mother had told him when she found out, lord knows how she even found out but she did, and she made sure that Plato knew that it was bad, that guys didn't like other guys like that.

So, it was impossible that what he thought had happened had really happened. As much as he wanted it to be true he was also terrified because if it was true, there was no way, Jim would hate him. He would leave and the loneliness would come back and Plato would be left alone again in this stupid house and he couldn't do that, he just  _couldn't_.

Officially freaking out now, Plato looked to his side and saw Jim, which only made him more confused, because if what he thought happened actually happened, Jim should be gone, he should be alone right now, but he wasn't. That would have normally calmed him down, he usually felt more stable around Jim, but now he was panicking, he could feel his head and his head pounding, his hangover making his anxiety worse. 

Jim would wake up soon and he would want to talk to Plato and  _fuck_ what would he even say? He couldn't talk about what happened because he still wasn't sure it was real, and he couldn't look him in the eye ever again really because Jim would know, he would find out and he would leave just like everyone else did. That thought was really what drove him over the edge, because now he was looking at Jim,  _really_ looking at him, and he desperately wanted him to stay. He hadn't known him for long at all, barely a day, but he had grown attached and he couldn't screw this up, he already had screwed it up hadn't he?

So, as quietly as he could manage, he got up and went into the bathroom. Hattie wasn't coming until noon so there was no one else besides Jim and him in the house. Once in the bathroom, he really let himself go, the tears coming immediately with much more intensity than he would have liked. His hands were shaking and he tried really hard to take a deep breath but he couldn't, he just couldn't stop thinking and crying and feeling everything that had happened. It was wrong, all wrong and he couldn't fix it, he couldn't fix anything. 

He and Jim had kissed and he couldn't take it back. He didn't want to take it back and he hated himself for it, hated himself for giving into impulse and ruining the only good friendship he ever had.

He went over to the medicine cabinet, grabbing two aspirin to try and stop his head from throbbing, swallowing them dry and sitting on the ground with his head in his hands. 

He stayed like that for a long time, maybe an hour or so and he had no idea what time it was, but he didn't move an inch. Just cried and slowly but surely forced himself back down. He clasped together his shaking hands and took a shaky breath, holding it in for a moment before slowly letting it out. Wiping his eyes with his sleeve he stood up slowly, legs shaking but able to keep him from falling as he walked over to the mirror.

Balancing on his elbows, he turned on the sink and splashed water on his face for a moment, drying off with a towel and forcing in a few more deep breaths. Crying wasn't an option anymore, he ran out of tears after awhile, and he was sort of happy for it, he had to go back into his room and he did't want to look like even more of a mess.

He slowly walked back into his room, not knowing whether or not he wanted Jim to be awake, didn't know which one was worse for him right now.

Jim wasn't yet, and Plato sighed a bit, raking a hand through his hair, a habit he picked up from Jim, and tried to decide what to do. It was his house after all, he couldn't leave. 

Deciding to read, which calmed him down and passed the time, he picked out an old favorite  _The Twenty One Balloons_ by William Pene du Bois. It had been a gift from his father when he had still been around, and he'd read it so many times he'd lost count. 

Not wanting to startle Jim by being gone when he woke up, he always hated when he woke up in an unexpected place, especially alone, he laid down on the bed. With shaking hands he opened the book and focused on the familiar words, calming down slightly as he began, and soon finding himself lost in the plot he had grow to love so much. 

* * *

 

It must have been about an hour since he started reading, he often lost track of time like that, when Jim stirred. At this point, Plato had calmed down a bit, focusing on the book had brought his racing thoughts to a halt for a while, but they slowly started up again as Jim turned to face him, rubbing at his eyes with a yawn.

Plato froze, which was unusual for him, when he got anxious it was usually like his body couldn't stop moving, his heart would race and he would shake. Now though, he didn't know at all what to expect so he froze.

Jim looked up and saw him, lazily smiling much to Plato's surprise. He had expected anger, disgust, really anything but the clear spark of happiness that he could see in Jim's eyes right now.

"Mornin' Plato," he murmured softly, propping himself up on his elbow, smiling softly.

"G-goodmorning," Plato stuttered, sure that he looked white as a sheet right now.

Jim yawned pretty big, missing the note of fear present in his friend's voice. He didn't however, overlook the shaking hands and the downward  gaze when he looked back.

"Hey, you okay?" Jim asked, keeping his voice low as he fully sat up, moving to touch the boy's shoulder and getting really concerned when Plato recoiled like he'd been burned.

"F-fine, I get it if y-you want to go now," Plato said lowly, still not looking up, feeling like his chest might collapse on itself at any second.

"Why would I want to do that?" Jim asked, frowning a bit as he tried to remember what might have caused Plato to act out like this.

Plato's previously frozen body had started shaking again, unable to process what was happening. Jim should have left by now, he knew he remembered the kiss, remembered Plato. He kept his eyes glued to the book in front of him, remaining silent as he tried to keep his breathing under control, keep his emotions from running away from him again.

"Is this about last night?" Jim asked as Plato stayed quiet.

Plato looked up at that, Jim didn't sound mad, he sounded concerned really, which wasn't possible, it wasn't.

Slowly he nodded, maintaining eye contact only because Jim's eyes kept him mesmerized, allowed him to slow down for just a second. 

"Plato," Jim let out a sigh, "I'm sorry that I came onto you like that, we were drunk, it was impulse and I'm sorry."

Plato blinked, blown away, he had in no way been prepared for an apology, he was the one who had kissed back, affirmed the drunken mistake.

"Y-you're not mad at me?" he whispered, not wanting to believe it until he heard it, heard it leave Jim's lips.

"What? Why would I be mad at you?" Jim asked, frowning a bit and moving once more to touch Plato's shoulder, relieved when he allowed it.

"Because I-I  _kissed you_. Th-that's bad Jim that's bad," Plato said, shutting his eyes tight because he felt like he might cry again, might scare Jim away, might have to see him walk away and never come back.

"Who told you that?" Jim said soothingly, rubbing his thumb in circles to try and calm the boy down.

"M-my mother, she said that it wasn't right, s-said it would make everyone leave," Plato said lowly, quickly losing control as he felt himself start shaking harder, breathing faster, felt his thoughts race out of control. Jim's voice didn't sound angry but he would get angry because he had to, he just  _had to_ , and he couldn't take it. He clenched his hands, feeling his nails dig into his palms as he tried to control the shaking that was now affecting his entire body.

"Do you think it's bad?"

Plato took a deep breath, surprised by the question because it didn't sound like a trap. Not like when his mother had asked it all those years ago, recoiling in disgust at his response, leaving him alone, crying alone in his room.

"I don't know," he whispered, feeling that it wasn't but he had thought for so long that it was wrong, that he was wrong.

Jim shifted so that he was laying on his stomach next to Plato, gently grabbing his chin and turning his head so that he was facing him, "I don't think it's bad, I think a lot of people do, but I don't."

"You don't?" Plato asked, trying to process that, someone, not just anyone, Jim, thought that he was okay, that he wasn't bad.

"Nope, I think it's okay as long as you do too."

Plato couldn't really breathe, this was all happening so fast, Jim wasn't mad at him, he didn't want to leave him. He couldn't believe it. 

He smiled just a bit, giddy with relief, and started giggling, hiding his face in his pillow as he heard Jim start laughing from above him.

"I'll take this in a good way I guess," Jim chuckled, ruffling Plato's hair, pushing at his shoulder when he remained with his faced stuffed in the pillow.

"C'mon, get up kid, I'm hungry," Jim whined playfully, "I'm the guest."

Plato lifted his head, feeling elated, better than he had in months, years even, ever since he had that conversation with his mother there had been this weight, and it was gone now, he felt happy. He wanted to live in this feeling, stay in it for all eternity because it was better than anything he had ever felt.

"No, I wanna stay here forever," Plato laughed, burrowing himself deeper under the blankets and curling up, warm and content.

"Nuh-uh, no fair kid," Jim said, poking at Plato through the blanket, continuing with increased fervor when he squeaked, laughing a little more and squirming away.

"S-stop!" he yelped, Jim having latched onto his side, tickling him through the blanket.

Jim relented after a few seconds, chuckling as Plato sat up, red faced and smiling.

"Good, let's get something to eat huh?" he said, getting up himself, following after Plato as he led the way downstairs to the kitchen.

Plato walked into the kitchen, sunlight was streaming through the windows and he felt so goddamn happy he was surprised his face hadn't broken from all the smiling. The loneliness that had clawed at him for so long barely registered in his mind, he was with Jim and he wasn't bad, wasn't strange, he was himself and it felt so good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last main chapter before the epilogue!! Hope you enjoy!!


	6. Epilouge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plato and Jim's future is bright

Plato's eyes fluttered open, sleepily adjusting to the light filtering in through his curtains. He checked the clock on his side table, groaning when he saw the time. If he didn't get up soon he'd end up being late for work, Jim had been right, summer jobs were overrated.

As soon as he tried to sit up though, he felt himself being pulled back into a warm chest, Jim's chest to be exact. Plato had learned a while back that Jim was an uncharacteristically clingy sleeper, which while cute, had made him late for school and now work dozens of times.

"Jim I gotta go to work," Plato whined, shoving at Jim's arms which remained securely wrapped around his chest.

"Call in," he mumbled back, burying his head in Plato's hair.

"I'll get fired."

"Worth it."

Plato laughed, managing to squeeze out of Jim's arms and stand up, now cold and really wishing that he  _could_ call in. He worked at the planetarium, running the projector during shows, and he had called in way too many times to get away with it now. Jim let out a whine from the bed, and Plato smiled to himself as he buttoned up his shirt, grabbing a tie after quickly putting on his pants.

He walked into the bathroom, thankful that Hattie had the day off and his mother was gone, Jim always got disapproving stares whenever they were around. Not that he cared much anymore, he and Jim had been together for a year today, exactly a year since his first hangover, and exactly a year since he woke up next to Jim for the first time.

They hadn't told anyone, Hattie and his mother had made their own assumptions, maybe one day they would, but for now it was safer for the two of them to keep things quiet. Even if they weren't public though, being with Jim was the greatest thing about his life right now, maybe ever.

In the year since their first kiss a lot had happened. Plato came to terms with his own identity as he and Jim spent more and more time together, sometimes intimately, sometimes not. After a month or so they had the understanding between them that they were an item, Jim wouldn't be seeing anyone else and God knows Plato never would.

Jim had opened up to him in the last year. Talked about his parents, how they slowly ate away at each other, leaving him alone to deal with the wreckage. Talked about how he carried a loneliness in him too, he had moved around so much he never had the chance to connect with anyone. Sometimes they talked while drunk, sometimes sober, always openly, not holding back because they never felt like they needed to. Nothing that they could say could ever sever the bond which that first night of vulnerability had created.

Plato opened up in the last year too, in a way that he never felt safe doing before. Putting all of his fear and anxiety out there in the light, for someone as gentle and kind as Jim to see invigorated him, gave him confidence. He cried a lot in the beginning, always afraid that he'd say the wrong thing and lose Jim, but he never did. When he cried he wasn't alone anymore, no, he was wrapped safely in a pair of arms that kept him from falling apart so many times.

Emotions regulated in Plato during the last year, the once frothing and vicious ocean of fear inside of him calming. Storms came in now and then, but with Jim they passed; his hands stopped shaking so much, heart stopped racing, mind stopped tripping over itself. For the first time in his life someone had bothered to stick around, he had never realized just how much of a difference that could make.

He thought about all of this while getting ready, Jim said he thought too much but this was nice, nostalgic almost. 

Finally getting his tie right he headed back to his bed to say goodbye to Jim, who had sat himself up now, rubbing his eyes and smiling lazily at Plato, pulling him down next to him as he approached the bed.

"You're gonna be back by four right?"

Plato smiled, playing with Jim's sleeve while he felt fingers raking through his hair, "Definitely."

"Good, I'll pick you up at five then."

"Dinner should be good," Plato murmured, Jim pulled at his hair then, gently, tipping his head back. A chaste kiss placed itself on his lips.

"Afterwards should be even better."

Plato blushed, cursing softly as he looked over at the clock again, "Shit, I really do have to go." He got out of bed then, kissing Jim's hand as he walked toward the door. "Be sure to leave before noon, Hattie'll be here."

"Don't worry, just be back in time," Jim said, lighting a cigarette.

"I will, bye babe."

"Bye." He did get back by four, exactly four actually. He almost didn't make it because the last show of the day ran long, the projector froze up near the end it it took a good twenty minutes to get working again. 

He unlocked his front door, bounding up to his room, getting out a quick greeting to Hattie before getting to his room, shutting the door behind him. He kicked off his shoes, collapsing onto his bed and wishing that Jim was there with him even though he's see him in an hour.

Sleep started tugging at his eyelids before he was aware enough to stop it, he was just so  _tired_. If he went to sleep now and woke up in half an hour he'd have enough time to get ready before Jim picked him up. A yawn escaped his lips, the straw that broke the camel's back really, and he drifted off.

* * *

 

"You have to be kidding me."

Plato whimpered a bit, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand and yawning, "Wha' time's it?"

Jim collapsed on the bed beside him dramatically, "Time to get a

Awatch."

"Fuck off, really," Plato said, sitting up and grabbing the clock on his bedside table, "Shit, we're gonna be late."

He started to get up but, for the second time tat day, found himself pulled back down by Jim.

"We don't gotta go, we could stay  _here_ _,_ " Jim whispered, starting to kiss gently at Plato's neck.

"Jim, bu-ahh s-stop," Plato whined out, giving in a bit as he felt teeth graze over his jawline softly. His breath hitched, Jim's hands were gripping his hair, something they discovered that Plato was  _very_ much into.

"I'm not hungry anymore," Jim whispered, moving so that he was straddling Plato, pulling at the collar of his shirt impatiently.

"Mhm but we had the whole night planned," Plato mumbled.

"New plan."

Plato smiled to himself, slowly taking off his shirt while Jim bit his neck, moving up to his mouth agonizingly slow.

Plato wrapped his hands around Jim's neck, savoring the moment before it got heated, the best part was before they got heated.

"This has been the best year, you know that right?" Jim asked, pulling away from Plato, unsure, always unsure.

"I know, I know," Plato whispered, kissing Jim softly, feeling eyelashes brush his face, feeling himself being pushed down. Not breaking the kiss, hands drifting into Jim's hair while Jim's wandered down, underneath his shirt, hot on his skin.

"I love you."

"I love you so much."

"Good."

* * *

 

The years he spent with Jim were the best of his life, he wouldn't trade them for the world. He wouldn't and he didn't, they stayed together for a long time, a beautifully long time, forever but somehow finite. If they could have married they would, they would have married and made sure everyone knew, knew how much they loved each other, belonged together. 

When he thought back to that first day at the planetarium he would always smile, no matter if they were fighting at the time, no matter if they were tired. That time was perfect, infinite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end guys!! I hope you enjoyed reading!! Leave kudos or comments if you enjoyed!!


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